THE MOST BORING SEX I EVER HAD
I called up a guy who I had been chatting with on the Internet for a while and asked if he wanted me to come over and hook up. His screen name was NYCRugbyGuy or something along those lines, a member of a gay rugby team that plays here in New York and whose members are supposed to be these hot jockish muscle bears. His pics looked good and he had a sort of gruff tone on the net - a "Don't waste my time with any BS or games" kind of attitude. He lived in a pseudo-fancy Chelsea high rise. The doorman buzzed me up and I took the elevator up to a floor in the double digits.
He was medium height, stocky, hairy on his chest and legs, and had a crewcut. He seemed quiet, reserved, sort of goofy. A puppy that looked like a little white earmuff was barking for his attention at his feet. He was wearing these sort of grey-turquoise boxer briefs, which disappointed me because there would be no foreplay revolving around getting his pants off. I took off my pants and shirt and we went into his bedroom, which had one of those mammoth Chelsea-slut-size jars of lube, condoms and the requisite poppers on his nightstand. We started kissing, which was okay, and he took off his shirt. I sucked on his nipples and sort of fondled him. I moved my foot and realized that his dog was still at our feet. I waited a few moments, shooing the dog away, hoping he would put it out, and then finally asked him if he could. He stared at me blankly. "She's a puppy," he said, leaving the room begrudgingly to get one of those plastic gates that go in the doorway. He set it up and as his dog watched us, we moved onto the bed and his underwear and mine both came off.
His dick was umimpressive. It was average in length but really thin, so you couldn't really grab hold of it and you didn't get that nice feeling when a cock is really big and you're struggling to take it all in. He also smelled really clean - like baby powder, not like a sweaty musky rugby jock. I guess somewhere along with the realization of all these inconsistencies with his online image, I just kind of realized that I didn't know what to do with him and he didn't know what to do with me. It was so boring that I thought about getting up and leave, but decided to stay.
We went through all the requisite moves, but there was no spark. We were just going through the motions. We kissed, sucked each other's nipples, blew each other some, and then just out of sheer boredom, I asked him if he wanted me to fuck him. At this point the "sex" had been going on for about 10 minutes. He said he did, put a condom on me and straddled me, positioning my cock inside him with one hand and uncapping and inhaling his pseudo-poppers with the other. His eyes rolled back in his head as I entered him with ease and he started... not really riding my cock, but more like slightly bouncing up and down on it. I tried my best to get into it, but I couldn't help but notice all the signed Broadway musical posters on his wall. He kept bouncing and bouncing. After not too long I came inside him, and he came on my chest. I wiped myself clean and went in the bathroom, showered quickly and washed my hair with one of his many fancy shampoos.
When I came out of the bathroom, he was playing with his puppy. We exchanged the standard disappointing Internet hook-up dialogue. "Well, um, we should do this again sometime." Me: "Yeah, well - email me when I'm online".
By ADAM BARAN ("THE MOST BORING SEX I EVER HAD")
Nº IV de la serie "BAD SEX STORIES" / BUTT Nº 13
He was medium height, stocky, hairy on his chest and legs, and had a crewcut. He seemed quiet, reserved, sort of goofy. A puppy that looked like a little white earmuff was barking for his attention at his feet. He was wearing these sort of grey-turquoise boxer briefs, which disappointed me because there would be no foreplay revolving around getting his pants off. I took off my pants and shirt and we went into his bedroom, which had one of those mammoth Chelsea-slut-size jars of lube, condoms and the requisite poppers on his nightstand. We started kissing, which was okay, and he took off his shirt. I sucked on his nipples and sort of fondled him. I moved my foot and realized that his dog was still at our feet. I waited a few moments, shooing the dog away, hoping he would put it out, and then finally asked him if he could. He stared at me blankly. "She's a puppy," he said, leaving the room begrudgingly to get one of those plastic gates that go in the doorway. He set it up and as his dog watched us, we moved onto the bed and his underwear and mine both came off.
His dick was umimpressive. It was average in length but really thin, so you couldn't really grab hold of it and you didn't get that nice feeling when a cock is really big and you're struggling to take it all in. He also smelled really clean - like baby powder, not like a sweaty musky rugby jock. I guess somewhere along with the realization of all these inconsistencies with his online image, I just kind of realized that I didn't know what to do with him and he didn't know what to do with me. It was so boring that I thought about getting up and leave, but decided to stay.
We went through all the requisite moves, but there was no spark. We were just going through the motions. We kissed, sucked each other's nipples, blew each other some, and then just out of sheer boredom, I asked him if he wanted me to fuck him. At this point the "sex" had been going on for about 10 minutes. He said he did, put a condom on me and straddled me, positioning my cock inside him with one hand and uncapping and inhaling his pseudo-poppers with the other. His eyes rolled back in his head as I entered him with ease and he started... not really riding my cock, but more like slightly bouncing up and down on it. I tried my best to get into it, but I couldn't help but notice all the signed Broadway musical posters on his wall. He kept bouncing and bouncing. After not too long I came inside him, and he came on my chest. I wiped myself clean and went in the bathroom, showered quickly and washed my hair with one of his many fancy shampoos.
When I came out of the bathroom, he was playing with his puppy. We exchanged the standard disappointing Internet hook-up dialogue. "Well, um, we should do this again sometime." Me: "Yeah, well - email me when I'm online".
By ADAM BARAN ("THE MOST BORING SEX I EVER HAD")
Nº IV de la serie "BAD SEX STORIES" / BUTT Nº 13
1 comentario
Creative Recreation -